Leipzig, Germany

I had a friend on the other side of the wall who would pass me the recordings secretly. I got each of the recordings over a six month period. The DDR tightened security on our side of the wall after that so any attempt to get hold of the recordings would be far too dangerous.

I remember the first time I put the tape on – it was amazing. I’d never heard anything as brutal. It made me want to scream and get out all the anger that had been inside for years. I felt as if I had someone who understood me out there. I lived on those tapes for so many years. They really fuelled my d esire to get out of the east and into the West where my feelings would be permitted and I could live as I wished. I never knew any of the song titles – all I received was a blank cassette with a label on. At first I thought the album was called Lustfaust – what a great name! I still never had the names of two of the recordings.

I designed the covers myself. I loved to draw. It was like the music in it kept me alive and allowed me to vent my anger and free my mind. I still draw now though not quite like I did then. I finally left the East in ’89 when the wall came down. I used to think that was the best day of my life. I recently moved back to the old East, in Leipzig as I realised, at heart, I’m an East German boy. The West didn’t really work for me.